May 22, 2010

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?

A movie that I watched ended with this monologue from the lead character.   It hit a chord with me for a number of reasons ... none of which have to do with my father ... most of which have to do with my imperfections as a father.



How do we forgive our fathers?
Maybe in a dream?

Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us too often,
or forever, when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage,
or making us nervous, because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our fathers for marrying ... or not marrying ... our mothers,
or divorcing ... or not divorcing ... our mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth, or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning?

For shutting doors?
or speaking through walls?
or never speaking?
or never being silent?

Do we forgive our fathers in our age?
or in theirs?
or in their deaths, saying it to them?
or not saying it?

If we forgive our fathers, what is left?


I learned afterwards that this poem was adapted from a Dick Laurie poem.

5 comments:

Iya said...

Omo,
I hope a lot of fathers who need to see this see this.
Iya

RiPPa said...

Very thought provoking piece.

Fatherhood, I believe, happens to be the most complicated, yet misunderstood functions within our collective.

We are a team of writers, journalists and analysts from three continents, said...

I like you style. What I have read so far touched me because it was short, but right on the spot (ex: Music of your Father). Today's post really got me thinking about a lot of things: my Father, my son's father, my mother's Father...and so many more incidents that I have seen or been through in my life.
If the beautiful couple is your daughter and yourself: congratulations to both of you! Keep that love always, it's so very precious.
Glad I found your blog.
Love and Peace
Etta from Berlin

Villager said...

Iya - As long as I can live and learn from it then it was worth posting! I miss my father very much...

RiPPa - Amen my brotha! Are you a poppa?

Etta from Berlin - Thank you for the kind words about our blog. I hope you come back and visit with us often in the future!

We are a team of writers, journalists and analysts from three continents, said...

Matter of fact I was right there when you wrote to me, I guess. Trying to see some of the other villagers, what they do and how the community works. The networking is still very new for me, but I try my best - even as English is not my native language I hope to find my way around. I'll be around, I promise.
Love and peace Etta